Kitchen Tips

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for god's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for a decade.

If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, tough sh*t! Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.	Celery? What the hell is celery?

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

If the lime is from your third margarita!

If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Bullsh*t! Go ask the neighbor with the washboard abs to open it for you shirtless!

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover Wine, Martha? HELLO-O!